jiaozi:

chills always go up my spine when i see sapphire blue. there are so many things i want to say about this—about elf, about super junior, about the sapphire blue sea—i have no idea where to start.

when i first heard about super junior, i thought what most people thought: to have 13 boys in one band is absolutely ridiculous. it’s full of flaws, full of potential mistakes—it’s more difficult to get dances in sync, and more difficult for each member to get recognized as an individual. and even now, i still think that. 13 members is absolutely inefficient. but then it makes room for so much love—love from 13 different hearts, plus an extra 2 who deserve all that and more. there’s variety, from comedians to emcees to singers to dancers—there’s absolutely everything, and you don’t even know where to start. super junior has gone through so much, and it’s unfortunate for me to have become an elf so late, but like siwon said, “it doesn’t matter when you join, as long as you stay until the end.” i think, in a fandom like this, it’s better late than never, because with this group, they have the potential to keep going until the ends of the world.

i never would’ve thought that it would be possible for me to love this much. to inexplicably care for people who will never know of my existence—to be a fan of these boys who call themselves men (and i call them boys because they have never once lost hope)—i never thought i’d be one of those people. to have a semi-comprehensive bias list, and still easily shed tears over those that aren’t on that bias list; to enjoy reading information or seeing pictures of any of them—to be this selfless? i never knew i had it in me. these boys have brought the best out in me—to see that flaws are okay in both them and myself, to be inspired, to be kind, to be in love, and to hurt, in the cruelest of ways—it feels like they’ve taught me everything. like in the short months that i’ve known them for, i have learned more about these 15 people than i have about anyone else in my life.

and of course, they’ve had many ups and downs—and sometimes, it feels like they’ve had more downs than anything. hangeng. zhou mi and henry. only13. april of 2007. kangin. not to mention all the little things, like leeteuk being hospitalized for exhaustion, or heechul feeling more and more insecure with himself as time goes on. we’re all human—we all hurt. we all make mistakes. and i think that really goes into the roots of being an everlasting friend—to be willing to hurt with these boys—to cry, to be angry—but to rise above it. to stand up again. kpop in general is a scary place, with fan wars and judgmental people, and elfs are no exception; we have misunderstandings and conflicting opinions and personalities, and we hurt each other with our words sometimes—but as important as it is for us to be super junior’s friends, we have to be each other’s friends. we have to support each other. i have met so many amazing people through super junior, and while we lead separate lives, they are my everlasting friends, and through our paths that miraculously cross, we find ourselves back in the same place: the 15 boys who brought us all together.

each member brings something into the group, and every elf gives them more strength. they may not know each and every one of us, but they see us—whether it’s in the form of twitter replies, fan projects, gifts, stars, anonymous donations, or the sapphire blue sea—and as one, we’re a family, with super junior and with each other. we teach them, they teach us, and we teach each other. leaning on each other for support. an everlasting friendship—an everlasting love.

it’s cheesy, but this is honestly how i feel: that being an elf is no regret.

Q: How to Answer a Call in your station’s Avaya Phone?

A: Say… “Hello…?!”

0.o

Yey! Sheer Luck. Ready for 7.15.2011. ^_^